Do I believe there are things in this life that are beyond our control….absolutely! They can be good or bad. Jeff is proof of that! The good: We should have never met but a series of events caused us to be introduced and the rest was history. The bad: He’s no longer here. I/We fought the hospital hard but still lost the war. Do I believe in signs…..absolutely! Have they played a different part in my world the past 7 years….yes, they have. So after we lost Jeff, Molly was the first to receive a sign. She went bowling with Craig and his sister. The Bobjaks are NOT bowlers so the selecting of the ball basically involves around two things – can I pick it up and do my fingers fit in the holes? Molly went to select her ball and she noticed it had a name on it…….JEFF! Yes, a personalized ball that was sitting on the rack. And of all the names to be on that ball that she selected……JEFF!! After that, Molly was receiving signs all over the place and I’m not going to lie, I was not only jealous but I was also pretty pissed!! Really Jeff??? Thirty years and you didn’t need to throw me a sign or two to comfort me? You see me struggling and you can’t help me out?? Then in February, I found the paper that had his writing on it. “Faith is believing that whatever it takes to get through, you have.” I had finally received my first sign and I cried like a baby. OK, crying is an understatement. I sobbed, I yelled, I sobbed some more, I paced, I literally lost my shit. A few days later, I laminated the paper and carried it around with me wherever I went. And then I panicked to think I could lose it so I did what any normal person would do, I had it tattooed on my arm a year or so later. HA! Now I can’t lose it!!! Anyway, as time went on, I would find a penny or a dime or a euro (long story for another blog) somewhere random and I would cry and put them away in a special wallet I had been given (thank you Michelangelo Lapo) by our favorite person in Firenze. I still was not receiving the signs the way I had hoped. I wanted to know he was ok and that he was still around watching over me. I then went to Halloween party and there was a medium there. I believe that some (few) people have that ability but I went into the session believing that this person might not be one of those people. I did not give up any information. That was until she told me this……..You want to receive signs and feel as if you aren’t receiving them the way you would like. He is telling me that he is not sending them because they upset you but when he sees that you are better not only will you receive signs, you will receive so many that you will almost feel like you are being haunted. WOW!! And she was spot on. Once I pulled myself together a bit (not fully and it may never be fully) and shifted my vision from what I was missing to what I had, the signs started coming. The number 14 was our number…..married on the 14th, one of his favorite Flyers was Ron Sutter (#14), he had to leave us on the 14th (there are more 14s on the list but the beginning and end for us are the two biggies). Anyway, I would find change in random places and yes, a dime and four pennies would be what I found. Not just once but multiple times. He did change it up once and reversed the number to four dimes and a penny. I went out to fight the pool pump once and there was a butterfly on the pipe. It was orange and black (Go Flyers) but then when it opened its wings……..amazing blue was displayed (Jeff’s color was blue). Rather than cry, I would thank him. I now find comfort in the signs when they appear. They tend to appear when I need them the most. They don’t make me cry anymore but they make me thankful that I know he is ok and is still watching after us. Signs, signs, everywhere a sign. I don’t look for them, they just appear, usually when I least expect it but definitely need it.