It is amazing to look back and realize how quickly things can change….forever. I think back to the last June I had with Jeff and everything about it was so different than the Junes I have had since. That June we were making plans for our Big Disney Trip! I say big because this one was going to be different than the others. We were traveling with 6 other adults and no “kids”. Yes, we were taking our kids with the addition of their significant others at the time but by definition, we had 8 adults on this trip. We were so excited because we were doing what we loved to do as a family…..we were going to The House of Mouse. We made the reservations, we got our FastPasses for our must do rides, we made dining reservations for the places that the kids always loved (Crystal Palace, Chef Mickey, Via Napoli…..). I remember telling the kids that the only time they needed to be with us was when we had a ride or meal booked. I understood in advance that they would probably want to go out and do their own thing without Mom and Dad around to cramp their style. Well, I was so wrong!!! We were a pack of 8 almost the whole time except when I mandated “date night”. It was a dream vacation all the way and Jeff continued to talk about it until the end. That Christmas, Jeff’s most cherished gift was a photo album that I put together for him of the whole trip. I didn’t think I ever wanted to go to Disney again but I got “back on the horse” and chaperoned the Senior Class Trip to Florida in 2018. Was I scared to be there – absolutely! Was I sad every night when the other female chaperones were calling their husbands and I couldn’t – absolutely! Did I see Jeff in every inch of every park – absolutely! Was I proud of myself for getting my shit together and doing it – absolutely!! The Boys and I went back the following summer with my brother and his family. It was hard for all of us but it was a break from our grief as well. We were sad being in one of Jeff’s most loved places without him but it was also great to be somewhere that you almost can’t be happy! My nephew came with us since I am all about leaving on the first plane to maximize the time you have in the parks. It was so much fun to introduce Austin to the Bobjak’s Disney rather than the Sperduto’s Disney. I will never forget how he greeted my brother when he arrived. “We don’t do anything when we come here!!” Anyway……..my Junes (along with my Julys, Augusts, Septembers, you get the idea) now are different. I don’t plan summer vacations with Jeff anymore. I don’t count the days until the end of the school year anymore. I don’t plan meals around a shift worker’s schedule anymore. Yes, there are many more “don’ts” but now I have some “dos”…. I do get to go on trips anytime I want instead of within the confines of the school calendar, Jeff’s schedule, etc. I do get to FaceTime with my grandbabies. I do get to celebrate Quinn’s first birthday. Do the “dos” help with the “don’ts”….sometimes. Do the “dos” make the “don’ts” hurt even more….sometimes. The best way for me to handle that is to be thankful for every “do” I had because they were great while they were here. Appreciate every second because in the blink of an eye……..