As we all know, life is pretty much a roller coaster ride. A series of ups and downs, loops and dips, with some straight runs mixed in here and there. It’s easy to forget the ups when the downs arrive. Just like any family, we had our ups and downs. Medical issues, crazy coaches, puberty in general, school stress, work stress, and all the other things that could easily bring us down. It’s at those times that you are tested. The way that I have chosen to cope with those types of things is to go with the belief “Someone always has it worse”. No matter how difficult your battle may seem, there is someone who would love to “only have to deal with that”. I have used that to get through oh so many things. Now I am going to fast forward to the worst day of my life….1/14/2017. I sat in a hospice room watching Jeff’s chest go up and down. I sat in a hospice room and watched his chest stop going up and down. I sat in a hospice room and told the person who had been my world and just left this world that I loved him. As I left his room for the final time, I thought that there was NO way someone had it worse than I did. I could not even think that was possible until……. As I left the ward, I walked past the last room and that was when I again knew, someone had it worse. The last room was a little boy with a baseball blanket. There it was….my someone. There was a mom who knew she was not going to have her baby much longer. It was at that point that I thanked Jeff for bringing me out of my pity and appreciate the fact that someone truly did have it worse.

Now I fast forward. A classmate from HS named Jen. We did not run in the same circles in HS but we lived near each other and were on the same bus. The best thing about not being in HS is reconnecting with the people who are also no longer in HS. The labels and the cliques are gone and we can treat each other as adults and form friendships that did not exist back in HS. I do not exactly remember how Jen and I reconnected but I can tell you that she was absolutely amazing when I lost Jeff. At a time when people I thought of as friends disappeared, I was so appreciative of the Jens in my life. So here I am today, trying to figure out how to be there for Jen. Earlier this week, Jen’s twin sons (23 years old) were killed in a car accident. I struggle to find the words to say to Jen because I cannot even imagine the pain she is experiencing right now. I have learned that it is ok to not have words and at this point, that is where I am. I will let Jen know I am here for her and will do whatever I can to help her through this but I probably will never have words. It absolutely breaks my heart to think that my friend is currently my “Someone always has it worse”.