Robert Frost said, “In three words I can sum up everything about life: it goes on.” He is correct. It does go on. Forever changed but still moving on. Seven years ago, I couldn’t image that possibility. My biggest reason to live, besides my kids, was gone and was never coming back. The person I had gone through life with for almost 30 years had left this world. How the hell was I going to live? Did I even know how to live without him? Well, that answer is easy…..absolutely not!! The easiest thing would have been to not go on but what a disservice that would have been to Jeff’s memory. He had a whole life ahead of him to live and he was not given that opportunity so now, for him, I had to live and I had to live THE best life I could. There was no better way to honor him than to do just that. In addition to that, he took such great care of our kids and they were already heartbroken so I could never add to that. Actually, I had to work to find a way to minimize that. Make them realize that “life goes on.” I knew that eventually, they would be ok. I knew this because Jeff and I survived the death of his Dad. While we missed him every single day, we had our lives to keep us going. We had work, and the kids (well only Jeffrey and Evan in the beginning since I was pregnant with Molly when he passed away), we had the kids’ activities, we had our activities and all these things kept us busy and caused our life to go on. When Jeff passed away, our kids were all on the threshold of their new chapters. The chapters that would allow their lives to go on.

I can honestly say that this widow shit is not for the faint of heart. It causes emotional pain that is unbearable at times. It causes physical pain that is overwhelming at times. The loneliness can be debilitating at times. At times, at times, at times but not always. So, the only thing I can do is ride that wave because after all, LIFE GOES ON!